Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

And verily, a woman need know but one man well, in order to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and understand not one of them.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Fortunately for women, most men mistake loneliness for love before marriage, and habit for happiness afterward.