Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.

A man is like a cat; chase him and he will run - sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet.

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.