Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Before marriage, when a woman speaks to a man in an undertone, he calls it "cooing"; after marriage, he calls it nagging.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.