Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!

Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her imagination, and then they both speak of it as an affair of 'the heart.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.