Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

It is as hard to get a man to stay at home after you've married him as it was to get him to go home before you married him.

Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.