No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

Some men are born for matrimony, some achieve matrimony -- but most of them are merely poor dodgers.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Flattery is like wine, which exhilarates a man for a moment, but usually ends by going to his head and making him act foolishly.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is "misunderstood" or that he is "different;" none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.