When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

There are many times where a woman would gladly drop her husband if she did not feel morally certain that some other woman would come right along and pick him up.

The dollar sign is the only sign in which the modern man appears to have any real faith.