Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.