At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Better a lively old epigram than a deadly new one.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.