Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

There are people whose watch stops at a certain hour and who remain permanently at that age.

A man's heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.