There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.

Some women can be fooled all of the time, and all women can be fooled some of the time, but the same woman can't be fooled by the same man in the same way more than half of the time.

Marriage is the miracle that transforms a kiss from a pleasure into a duty.

There are more ways of killing a man's love than by strangling it to death, but that's the usual way.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.