There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.