To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

Marriage: a souvenir of love.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.