To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.