The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

When perfect frankness comes in at the door love flies out of the window.

The feminine vanity-case is the graveyard of masculine illusions.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.