The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is "misunderstood" or that he is "different;" none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.