The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Love: woman's eternal spring and man's eternal fall.

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth - and endures all the rest.

When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

Eve had one advantage over all the rest of her sex. In his wildest moments of rage Adam never could accuse her of being 'just like her mother!