When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.

Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

There is a vast difference between the savage and the civilized man, but it is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.