Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last.

At twenty, a man feels awfully aged and blasé; at thirty, almost senile; at forty, "not so old"; and at fifty, positively skittish.