A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.

Alas, why will a man spend months trying to hand over his liberty to a woman--and the rest of his life trying to get it back again?

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.