A good woman is known by what she does; a good man by what he doesn't.

True love isn't the kind that endures through long years of absence, but the kind that endures through long years of propinquity.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is "misunderstood" or that he is "different;" none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more than merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.