Many men kill themselves for love, but many more women die of it

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Nothing annoys a man as to hear a woman promising to love him "forever" when he merely wanted her to love him for a few weeks.

Ever since Eve started it all by offering Adam the apple, woman's punishment has been to supply a man with food then suffer the consequences when it disagrees with him.

When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.