To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

Going through life without love is like going through a good dinner without an appetite -- everything seems so flat and tasteless.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Some widowers are bereaved -- others, relieved.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.