Verily, the best of husbands hath many raw edges, and many unnecessary pleats in his temper, and many wrinkles in his disposition, which must be removed.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

Love will never be ideal until man recovers from the illusion that he can be just a little bit faithful or a little bit married.

A Bachelor of Arts is one who makes love to a lot of women, and yet has the art to remain a bachelor.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

A man's ideal woman is the one he couldn't get.