Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

Flirting is the gentle art of making a man feel pleased with himself.

Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.