After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.

To a man, marriage means giving up four out of five of the chiffonier drawers; to a woman, giving up four out of five of her opinions.

Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Marriage is a bargain, and somebody has to get the worst end of the bargain.