A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are 'made in America.'

Soft, sweet things with a lot of fancy dressing - that's what a little boy loves to eat and a grown man prefers to marry.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

When a man makes a woman his wife it's the highest compliment he can pay her – and usually it's the last.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.