the mistakes you regret the most in your life are the ones you didn't commit when you had the chance

Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

A bachelor has to have an inspiration for making love to a woman--a married man needs only an excuse.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.

No man can understand why a woman shouldn't prefer a good reputation to a good time.

A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.