The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.

What a man calls his 'conscience' is merely the mental action that follows a sentimental reaction after too much wine or love.

Honeymoons are the beginning of wisdom--but the beginning of wisdom is the end of romance.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.

In love, somehow, a man's heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.