A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted.

After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.

Never worry for fear you have broken a man's heart; at the worst it is only sprained and a week's rest will put it in perfect working condition again.

Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.

Woman: the peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch and the sinner his justification.

Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.