Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

Matrimony is the price of love -- divorce, the rebate.

Marriage is the only thing that affords a woman the pleasure of company and the perfect sensation of solitude at the same time.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.

No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a "Master of Arts" and a "Doctor of Philosophy" after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.