Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.

An optimist is merely an ex-pessimist with his pockets full of money, his digestion in good condition, and his wife in the country.

Eternity: The interval between the time when a woman discovers that a man is in love with her and the time when he finds it out himself and tells her about it.

The honeymoon is not actually over until we cease to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.

A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little 'personal characteristics.'

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

A bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.