Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course.

The woman who appeals to a man's vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

A man seldom thinks of marrying when he meets his ideal woman; he waits until he gets the marrying fever and then idealizes the first woman he happens to meet.

Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.

Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds.