I went out with a girl last night. She wasn't a Lana Turner. She was more of a stomach turner.
If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.
Take my wife... Please!
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.