When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".