"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"

I live about four muggings from Central Park.

Let's get up here before we get killed!

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, "Let's get up here before we get killed!"

A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Four. The man leaves. He comes back the next day and asks, How many ahead of me? Six. The man leaves, and the barber says to another, Follow that man! The man comes back and says, He goes to your house!

During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

"Doctor, my leg hurts. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Limp!"