I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, "Tut, Tut!"
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked?
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
What is a home without children? Quiet.