There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
There is no spark like the one ignited under the aspirations of a new graduate.
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.