I live about four muggings from Central Park.

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.