Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
The patient says, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." "Then don't do that!"
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!