Let's get up here before we get killed!

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!"

2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything."

My wife has a black belt in shopping.