During the war an Italian girl saved my life. She hid me in her basement in Cleveland.

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started.

A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.

I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

All my wife does is shop - once she was sick for a week, and three stores went under.