A doctor says to a man, "You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day." Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, "How is your love life since you have been running?" "I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!"

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.

A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"

My wife lost all her credit cards, but I'm not going to report it. Whoever found them spends less than she does!