Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Have you seen the new Polish jigsaw puzzle? One piece.

My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!"