A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.

I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'

Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick".

I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a left at the kitchen."

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.