I really didn't know much about the Libertarians. I knew they were for less government and more individual freedom. I liked that.

I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.

I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.

I am circumcised, and I tell you something, I despise it. I despise it. I despise it... I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.

Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

We all get one life to live here. It's 2012, and for gay and lesbian couples who are in love, not to be able to be married is so absurd.

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.