I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable.

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.

I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose that's one of the main reasons women come to football games, to see the young men take their shirts off. Of course they’d have to go and watch another game because my lads are as ugly as sin.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

My wife runs the house much better than I could so I think she could be a linesman or a referee or even a football manager and that's the truth.

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey.