If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopping I try and look in a man's shop while they make their minds up.

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings.

It's all very well having a great pianist playing but it's no good if you haven't got anyone to get the piano on the stage in the first place, otherwise the pianist would be standing there with no bloody piano to play.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!

This club needs an impetus of energy - but I just feel tired to be honest. I'm worn out.