Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb

You can say that strikers are very much like postmen: they have to get in and out as quick as they can before the dog starts to have a go.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!