If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb
I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great.
It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake.
Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.
I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear.
My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.