Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless you can quote me on that.

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending all night with Berbatov.

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark.

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you.

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb