Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.
If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.
To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.
A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.