A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.
You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.
If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed
Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.
Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.
Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.