A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.