Irvin S. Cobb Quotes

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job.

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms.

If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.