Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn.

To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue.

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance.

Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-hearted, the gayest, the most care-free city on this continent.

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation.

You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him.