You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist?
If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late.
I never write jokes, I just try to make myself laugh.
You buy a new iPhone, a few months later, another new iPhone comes out, and you get online to buy another one. You can't get enough. You are addicted to Apple.
Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print.
I’m trying to be the Jay-Z of comedy one day. I don’t know if there’s any comedy moguls out there, but I would love to be the first comedy mogul.