It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.

I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.