A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago. Today I must maneuver it so that somehow I get the waiter to give me a nickel tip.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.

I'm living in a very modest place. I have a room over-looking beautiful Claridge's Hotel. I thought it was better than paying Claridge's prices and overlooking the dump I'm living in.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Bill Paley is not only the greatest boss I ever had, but he's the most brilliant, honest and warm human being I've ever met. And I'll say that to his face - even if it costs me my job.